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User blog:OmgHAX!/There are fanfics.... and then there are FANFICS.
I am not what you might call a typical connoisseur of fanfics. I rarely ever go onto fanfiction.net. I loathe shipping and Mary Sues. But I do love me some of the classics; the works of Squirrelking and Peter Chimera, are to me, the fanfic equivalents of William Shakespeare. Here's a list of what are, in my opinion, the most entertaining (and sometimes utterly bizzare) ones out there. #'Half Life: Full Life Consquences'. Even if you've never heard of Squirrelking, you'd know this from the extremely popular Machinima adaptation. This four part series has such awful grammar and storytelling that it is just an amazing read. This was the one that gave us the classic line, "And the Pants were Dead." Genius. #'DOOM: Repurcussions of Evil'. Another classic, by Squirrelking's contemporary Peter Chimera. This one also has its fair share of bad grammar and hilarious one liners. Easily the best one is, "'NO! I must kill the demons!' 'No John,' said Joson. 'You ARE The demons.' And then John was a zombie." Unlike HL:FLC, there's no definitive adaptation for it. My personal favorite is this one, simply from the delivery of the actors. #'My Immortal'. Many argue that this is so utterly incompetent, it has to be the work of a troll. Whether it is or not, it's easily the epitome of awful Mary-Sue fanfics. Take the original Harry Potter Story, dump in a horny and extremely stupid "goffik" teenage girl, tweak the characters to make them your slaves, throw in lots of gratuitous sex scenes, and that's My Immortal in a nutshell. It even managed to ruin vampires before Stephanie Meyer dreamed up Twilight. I recommend seeing an adaptation of it, as the awful writing might actually hurt your brain. #'HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH'. Whereas My Immortal is Harry Potter as written by a dumb, melodramtic teenage girl, 30 H's is its antithesis. It's Chaucer meets Black Sabbath. Nothing in this fic won't melt your face off from shear badassitude, from Dobby's Groinsaw, to Harry's guitar Fuckslayer, to Dumblecop's Cursed Mummy Armor. I have even attempted to make a visual representation of this fic, and found it too difficult. It is that amazing. #'Harry Potter and The Eagle of Truthiness'. The Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher is Stephen Colbert. Nuff Said. #'Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality'. You know how Harry was raised by muggles? What if his stepfather was a scientist? Hilarity and physics lectures ensue. #'Until The End of Time'. Anne Frank falls in love with and gets rescued by Goku. For that alone, the author is pretty much going to hell, but it gets worse. There's also a Super Sayan Hitler. Yes. #'The Land Before Time: Voyage Through Time'. This one surprised me. Soviet Spetsnaz invade The Great Valley. What. Normally crossovers bug me as they are way too damn convenient and Mary Sue-ish, but this one's a pretty big exception. The writer, appropriately named H. G. Wells, knows his shit. He did plenty of research on the logistics of Soviet Submarine warfare and Soviet Politics. He's made compelling, three-dimensional original characters for the reader to identify with. It reads like The Hunt for Red October, yet he saw fit to add talking dinosaurs in it. WTF?!?! Category:Blog posts